Tranwestia
It could be that my life as a TV goes back as far as the age of four. At that age I had nobody around to play with, except two little sisters on the other side of the street; they were about my own age. A few times I went to play with them, but after a few moments, their mother came and told me to go home, that little boys were not supposed to play with little girls. Getting back home, I cried to mother. She used to tell me, "What can I do, you are a little boy and they are little girls". I firmly believe that in those moments, I wished to be a little girl, to be able to play with them and also to have more sympathy from mother.
Around the age of five or five and a half, father once more took me to the barber and this time I came back home with a brush cut. It was another shock for mother, more crying, and sad words with my father. Once more I realized that mother used to love me a lot more with a girlish look. From then on, atten- tion and caresses from mother stopped completely.
One day an aunt of mine came home with her lit- tle girl, and my mother took her in her arms and kissed her in front of me. I even remember her say- ing to my aunt "how nice is a little girl?" I went into my room and cried my heart out. Then, I went to school like all others, but I was mum at times and I was also a dreamer,
One day, at age of ten, mother left me alone at home for about two hours, while she went shopping in town. On that day, I became a practicing TV for the first time. Once my mother was gone, I felt an irre- sistible urge to go in her bedroom. There I saw on the chair her bloomers and her corset. I wanted with all my heart to try on her bloomers, and I did.. I felt so good that there is no word to describe the feelings I had. After a little while, I took them off, got into the corset, laced it solidly and put the bloomers back over the corset. I was the hap- piest boy-girl in the world. Then, after parading
37